I only have eyes for you.

"But God! Dear Lord, I only have eyes for you! Since I've run for dear life to you, take good care of me!'Psalm 141:8

Looking back upon the last four or five years of my life I am blown away. I shake my head at my teenage self and all of the poor life choices I made. But I can't say that I regret them, only that I have learned from them.

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10

In the short 21 years of my life I have been through my fair share of struggles (some of them my own fault, some of them not.) However, I look at the place that I am in now and I am on my knees so thankful to Jesus for who I have become and all of the things I have learned. 

When I think about this time last year, I can't help but laugh. I was so hell bent on doing things my own way, living my life on my own terms, and making a very large mess of things in the process. When I went to YWAM in September of 2011, I remember being so done with my life and very ready to let God do whatever he wanted with it because I knew it was the only way I would be truly happy, the only way I would learn to be content. 

I can honestly say that I've seen every prayer I've prayed be answered right before my eyes. Not always how or when I wanted or expected, but always in a way that strengthens my trust and faith. My life is so full, and I praise God every day for the abundant blessings coming my way. 

What I've learned is this: 

Pray with everything you've got. Don't be afraid to admit you're scared, that you have a hard time trusting. Don't be afraid to go to God ever, in desperate times or when things are going fine. He will always come through, maybe not how or when you expect, but remember everything is in his time...not ours. Additionally I've learned not to just go to Him when I want something, but that I ALWAYS need Him. And He is always there to talk to, to thank, to hold my hand. 

Thank you! Everything in me says thank you! Angels listen as I sing my thanks. I kneel in worship facing your holy temple and say it again: "Thank you!" Thank you for your love, thank you for your faithfulness; most holy is your name, most holy is your word. The moment I called out, you stepped in; you made my life large with strength. Psalm 138:3 

 

Do not be anxious about anything.

"God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I got my act together, he gave me a fresh start. Now I'm alert to God's ways; I don't take God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works; I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I'm watching my steps. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes."
Psalm 18:20-24

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Hello friends and family!

I realized today that it's been awhile since I've been in contact, and though I'm not at YWAM anymore or travelling the world, that doesn't mean my adventure is anywhere near over.

My life since being home from Montana/YWAM has been a whirlwind of change and adjustment. I'm constantly finding myself in situations where there is so much learning and growing to be done.

When I got home I was really worried about what was next, and I was really worried about making the wrong choice. To quote the brilliant Kristy Wilke: "We're afraid of making commitments because we're worried that it's not God's will. DO SOMETHING and God will move in the midst of that. We confuse fear as 'waiting on God'"

I knew worrying wouldn't get me anywhere and that I would have to just make a decision. I kept hearing God say, "Trust me, I've got this! Just wait!" Trust me. Wait. The recurring theme of my life while trying to figure out what was next.

 Two weeks after my return I was off again, this time to Vancouver where I would spend a couple weeks with friends. While there the opportunity to move in with one of my best friends from bible school arose, and I jumped at the opportunity. For those of you who know me, you'll know that I left a piece of my heart on the West Coast after attending Pacific Life Bible College in 2009/2010 and have been wanting to move back for awhile. So, in February/March the decision was made to be back in Vancouver by April 1.

With this hasty decision came a lot more things that needed to fall into place, and I found myself panicking about finances, work, my car that had recently started having trouble. In all this, I kept hearing "Trust me!" And trust him I did.

In the last couple weeks before my move I was blessed with a new car, enough money to get me started for the first month or so, and a hefty boost of confidence that I was indeed doing the right thing.

Upon arrival in BC I immediately got sick and spent half of my first week out of commission on the couch. I was discouraged, but determined that by the weekend I would have sent out resumes and gone house hunting with Christine (my roommate.) Sure enough, Saturday morning I was up and on the prowl for jobs and houses on craigslist. I sent out roughly 18 resumes and looked at 3 houses/apartments that day.

Unfortunately all of the places we looked at were duds. It's probably not a good sign when people get into a fight with a baseball bat right before your eyes in front of the apartment building you're about to look at...

However! By the end of the day I had received three replies to my resumes and had lined up interviews for the next week. The jobs were all in the same field; taking care of physically disabled people in their homes, and I really hoped to get at least one of them.

By the end of the next week I had been offered and accepted one job, turned down another position, and was on my way to a second interview with the third.

Somewhere in that time Christine and I also found a wonderful basement suite to move into with a third friend and amazing landlords, and our move in date was set for April 29/30.

So here we sit, May 1. All moved into our new home. I have two wonderful jobs and wonderful roommates/friends who love, support and encourage me through everything. This is an amazing story to me of God's faithfulness to his promises, which helps me daily to believe in all of the other promises he's given me.
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"So let's do it-full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in love and encouraging and helping out. Not avoiding worshipping together, but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big day approaching. If we give up and turn our backs on all we've learned, all we've been given, all the truth we know now, we repudiate Christ's sacrifice and are left on our own to face the judgement- and a mighty fierce judgement it will be!"
Hebrews 10:22-27

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the piece of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7


"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: he will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonsday sun."
Psalm 37:5-6

First Love.

You are the safest bet
Because with You
It's not a gamble.
It's a guarantee.
You are a safe house
During a battle
Amidst a war that
Rages on and on...
You are the anchor
That holds the world
In place in the universe
You keep it spinning
You keep it revolving
Around the sun
LIKE MY LIFE
Revolves around your son.
I want to hold the hand
That holds the world in it's palm.
The same hand that holds my heart.
MY HEART.
The same heart that only wants
To beat in time with YOURS

Firmly rooted.
Never shaken.
Unafraid.
The road less taken.
I refuse to sink
I will swim against
The storms that rage
WITH ALL MY MIGHT
I'll get tired.
Never giving up.
Never letting go.
Never forgetting
Your grace.
Your love.

Your free gift to me. 

kristen.

City On A Hill.

You are the light of the world - like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.
Matthew 5:14

Hey there everybody!

I realize that I dropped off the face of the earth after my last update. This is due to lack of consistent internet in Thailand and the utter chaos of life abroad.

As you have probably assumed, I am now back on Canadian soil and have been processing post DTS. Trying to figure out where I fit, where God wants me, the next path for my life to take a stroll down.

God has radically shaken up my life. When I review my past I feel so removed from all of the things that I've done, all of the things that I have been through in such a way that it's as if I was gutted and then filled back up with everything I was lacking before.
Peace.
Joy.
Hope.
Trust.
Love.

Life is not an easy thing to go through, particularly after returning from an experience as life changing as the one that I have just been through. I have spent a good chunk of my life trying to figure out my niche, what I'm good at, where I belong.

What I've come to discover is that I belong in the arms of Jesus. I belong beside him, hand in hand, in step towards the promises that he has laid before me. If I've got that, what else do I need? I am exactly where I need to be.

My prayers over the last six months have been answered in ways that I would never have been able to fathom before my DTS experience, and the best part of that is that I rest assured in the confidence that my prayers will continue to be answered. Maybe not when I ask. Maybe not how I imagined. But God's timing and God's plans always are SO much better than anything I could have picked out for myself.

I am blessed far beyond any words than I could express. God has rained his love and truth down on me and my heart could not be more thankful to be past the season of drought it was in for so long.

Thank you, whoever is reading this, for investing your time into reading about my life and all that God has done for me. I'm going to continue to write about my life and the adventures God is going to continue to take me on because I know that they are not over and I am SO okay with that.

God bless.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses let us THROW OFF EVERYTHING that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us RUN WITH PERSEVERANCE the race marked out for us.
Hebrews 12:1

Cockroaches and Bucket Showers

SA-WA-DEE-KA!

Where do I begin?

God is SO good and I am SO blessed.

As I reflect on the last year, I am amazed by what God has done for me. He has brought me out of the darkest loneliest place and has renewed me and refreshed me and I have never felt more loved.

I spend December 24, 2011 taking a little boat to a remote place with elephants that my team and I rode! Though it was hard to be away from home, elephant riding was definitely a good way to spend my Christmas eve! On Christmas day we had a little gift exchange and at the end our leaders surprised us with little care packages from home.

My favorite part of mine was the letters I got from my mom and dad, I truly am blessed with amazing parents.  Also, mom and dad I know you're reading this...I would just like to inform you that though I suck at keeping in touch I mention you a million times a day so know that you're loved and thought about! (For real, ask my friends here...the joke has become "Oh Kristen's dad would love this!")

Anyways...

Our month in Chang Rai was amazing! We got super connected with a bunch of students there and saw several  of them come to Jesus and have built some great relationships. I truly will miss all of my new friends!

2 nights ago we took a 14 hour night-bus ride to Khan Kaen, where we will be spending the next two weeks.

Upon our arrival here, we realized we truly were living in the lap of luxury in Chang Rai when we discovered a giant cockroach in the washroom next to the squatty potty and saw that our showers were "bucket showers"...a small drain in the corner of the bathroom with a big bucket and a hose. Basically, it's like you're locking yourself in the bathroom and showering in the corner next to the toilet. I actually don't mind it....minus the fact that it's a little frigid.

The last couple of days have been very interesting as we have visited a couple of Buddhist temples and I have learned a little bit more about Buddhism. The main thing that I have concluded about Buddhism is that it is a very fear based religion, and also very about earning what you get from the god you pray to.

What I do know for sure is that these people NEED to know about Jesus' love and that it isn't something that needs to be earned to get...and I feel so passionately about this message getting across.

That being said, one ministry we will be doing is a Christian camp this weekend that 400 Thai students will be attending.

We were told that about half of these students don't know Jesus, so please be praying that we listen to what God wants us to say to get his message across.

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. 1 John 4:18

 I will try to keep everyone updated as much as I can! I miss and love all of my dear friends and family
 in every corner of the world!