I only have eyes for you.

"But God! Dear Lord, I only have eyes for you! Since I've run for dear life to you, take good care of me!'Psalm 141:8

Looking back upon the last four or five years of my life I am blown away. I shake my head at my teenage self and all of the poor life choices I made. But I can't say that I regret them, only that I have learned from them.

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:10

In the short 21 years of my life I have been through my fair share of struggles (some of them my own fault, some of them not.) However, I look at the place that I am in now and I am on my knees so thankful to Jesus for who I have become and all of the things I have learned. 

When I think about this time last year, I can't help but laugh. I was so hell bent on doing things my own way, living my life on my own terms, and making a very large mess of things in the process. When I went to YWAM in September of 2011, I remember being so done with my life and very ready to let God do whatever he wanted with it because I knew it was the only way I would be truly happy, the only way I would learn to be content. 

I can honestly say that I've seen every prayer I've prayed be answered right before my eyes. Not always how or when I wanted or expected, but always in a way that strengthens my trust and faith. My life is so full, and I praise God every day for the abundant blessings coming my way. 

What I've learned is this: 

Pray with everything you've got. Don't be afraid to admit you're scared, that you have a hard time trusting. Don't be afraid to go to God ever, in desperate times or when things are going fine. He will always come through, maybe not how or when you expect, but remember everything is in his time...not ours. Additionally I've learned not to just go to Him when I want something, but that I ALWAYS need Him. And He is always there to talk to, to thank, to hold my hand. 

Thank you! Everything in me says thank you! Angels listen as I sing my thanks. I kneel in worship facing your holy temple and say it again: "Thank you!" Thank you for your love, thank you for your faithfulness; most holy is your name, most holy is your word. The moment I called out, you stepped in; you made my life large with strength. Psalm 138:3 

 

Do not be anxious about anything.

"God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I got my act together, he gave me a fresh start. Now I'm alert to God's ways; I don't take God for granted. Every day I review the ways he works; I try not to miss a trick. I feel put back together, and I'm watching my steps. God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes."
Psalm 18:20-24

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Hello friends and family!

I realized today that it's been awhile since I've been in contact, and though I'm not at YWAM anymore or travelling the world, that doesn't mean my adventure is anywhere near over.

My life since being home from Montana/YWAM has been a whirlwind of change and adjustment. I'm constantly finding myself in situations where there is so much learning and growing to be done.

When I got home I was really worried about what was next, and I was really worried about making the wrong choice. To quote the brilliant Kristy Wilke: "We're afraid of making commitments because we're worried that it's not God's will. DO SOMETHING and God will move in the midst of that. We confuse fear as 'waiting on God'"

I knew worrying wouldn't get me anywhere and that I would have to just make a decision. I kept hearing God say, "Trust me, I've got this! Just wait!" Trust me. Wait. The recurring theme of my life while trying to figure out what was next.

 Two weeks after my return I was off again, this time to Vancouver where I would spend a couple weeks with friends. While there the opportunity to move in with one of my best friends from bible school arose, and I jumped at the opportunity. For those of you who know me, you'll know that I left a piece of my heart on the West Coast after attending Pacific Life Bible College in 2009/2010 and have been wanting to move back for awhile. So, in February/March the decision was made to be back in Vancouver by April 1.

With this hasty decision came a lot more things that needed to fall into place, and I found myself panicking about finances, work, my car that had recently started having trouble. In all this, I kept hearing "Trust me!" And trust him I did.

In the last couple weeks before my move I was blessed with a new car, enough money to get me started for the first month or so, and a hefty boost of confidence that I was indeed doing the right thing.

Upon arrival in BC I immediately got sick and spent half of my first week out of commission on the couch. I was discouraged, but determined that by the weekend I would have sent out resumes and gone house hunting with Christine (my roommate.) Sure enough, Saturday morning I was up and on the prowl for jobs and houses on craigslist. I sent out roughly 18 resumes and looked at 3 houses/apartments that day.

Unfortunately all of the places we looked at were duds. It's probably not a good sign when people get into a fight with a baseball bat right before your eyes in front of the apartment building you're about to look at...

However! By the end of the day I had received three replies to my resumes and had lined up interviews for the next week. The jobs were all in the same field; taking care of physically disabled people in their homes, and I really hoped to get at least one of them.

By the end of the next week I had been offered and accepted one job, turned down another position, and was on my way to a second interview with the third.

Somewhere in that time Christine and I also found a wonderful basement suite to move into with a third friend and amazing landlords, and our move in date was set for April 29/30.

So here we sit, May 1. All moved into our new home. I have two wonderful jobs and wonderful roommates/friends who love, support and encourage me through everything. This is an amazing story to me of God's faithfulness to his promises, which helps me daily to believe in all of the other promises he's given me.
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"So let's do it-full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in love and encouraging and helping out. Not avoiding worshipping together, but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big day approaching. If we give up and turn our backs on all we've learned, all we've been given, all the truth we know now, we repudiate Christ's sacrifice and are left on our own to face the judgement- and a mighty fierce judgement it will be!"
Hebrews 10:22-27

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the piece of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6-7


"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: he will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonsday sun."
Psalm 37:5-6